Click here for a sermon reflection sheet.

Click here to watch the replay.

Key Insights

We have arrived at the section of Ephesians where Paul addresses three groups: husbands and wives, children and parents, and bondservants and masters.

Today, we examine what Paul says about the relationship of marriage, in terms of its function, disposition, and plan. First, it’s important to note that

1. Paul gives more time and exhortation to the husbands than to the wives

2. The word “obey” is used in the sections about children and servants, but not with wives.

3. He addresses function, but the posture of the heart is key.

Function
Wives – as Paul addresses the idea of submission, it is in the context of an orderly arrangement to someone who loves sacrificially, similar to respecting the authority of God in the church. 

• Submission does not mean blind obedience, but does mean to give thoughtful respect and consideration to the input and guidance provided by the husband in all areas of life.
• “As to the Lord” does not mean “in place of the Lord.”  A husband is not your savior, nor is God asking you to submit to doing anything contrary to God’s Word. 
• You can lovingly challenge and encourage your husband, and you should show respect for his developing leadership.

Husbands are to love their wives sacrificially, using Christ as a model.  This involves roles of 

Leading (providing wise, unselfish direction in keeping with the Holy Spirit’s direction)

Providing (not just in tangible ways, but with emotional support and spiritual guidance)

Protecting (i.e., if faced with potential hurt/harm, “to get to her/them, you have to go through me first.”)

Disposition 

The posture of the heart should always be great love and respect, caring for one another as we would care for ourselves.

Plan
The oneness of marriage, with ongoing displays of love and respect, is God’s plan to show the relationship of Christ and the church.  The relationship of Christ with the church should be the model by which we interact in marriage.

Reflection Prompters / Suggested Homework

How does Paul’s emphasis on the husband’s role challenge or affirm your understanding of leadership within marriage? Consider the sacrificial love and responsibility husbands are called to model after Christ.

What does it mean to you that submission in marriage is about order and respect rather than blind obedience? How might this understanding influence the way you approach mutual decision-making in a relationship?

In what ways can a wife lovingly challenge and encourage her husband’s leadership while still showing respect? Think of practical examples where this balance might be difficult, and how it could be navigated with grace.

How does the posture of your heart—love, respect, humility—shape your interactions in close relationships, especially marriage? Are there areas where your disposition might need to shift to reflect Christ’s love more fully?

How might viewing marriage as a picture of Christ’s relationship with the church impact the way you live out your role in marriage? What changes, if any, would that perspective invite you to make in your day-to-day attitudes and actions?